What makes a memory meaningful?

Abby in a snow pit she dug to collect snow for her dissertation research on microbial assemblages and biogeochemical activity in mountain snowpack.

I’ve been reflecting on two momentous events this week. One was defending my PhD in Ecology at the University of Wyoming. The other was Coach K’s final game in Cameron Indoor Stadium, which as a Duke alumni and basketball fan evokes many memories and reflection.

I am deeply proud of the scientific work I did over the past six years, which culminated this week in a 189 page document, public seminar, and two hours of questioning from my committee. Ultimately, for the career I want (to work for the US Forest Service), I realized a while back that I didn’t need a PhD, but I wanted to finish this degree for myself. To know that I am capable of the highest level of research, that I can follow through on my commitments and that I can do difficult things.

But, nothing really changed as I walked back into the conference room that held my five-professor committee and they pronounced that they unanimously passed me and I had earned my PhD. It turns out actually getting your degree is somewhat anticlimactic. But it’s meaningful because it represents years of hard work, commitment and learning. Over many early mornings and late nights while I simultaneously took classes and taught classes, wrote grants, conducted fieldwork, lab work and complicated statistical analyses, read and wrote journal articles, slowly and unsurely I worked towards a deep understanding of my chosen field of microbial biogeochemistry.

Abby and a Duke friend, Laura, on their first ever backpacking trip during the first summer Abby lived in Wyoming.

I also loved my time in Wyoming and this place will always evoke good memories and nostalgia. I experienced so many new things with the help of countless friends and strangers who offered to take me hunting or fishing or invited me to a calf branding or skiing or rock climbing or to play bridge or brew beer or to road trip around the West. These experiences forced me to take risks, challenge my limits and build lifelong friendships and skills. It showed me how to find a balance between hard work and living life and how to evaluate what’s important.

A day after defending my PhD, I saw many Duke friends post pictures with captions thanking Coach K for “some of the best memories of my life”. It seemed that everyone from A list celebrities to Duke alumni and former players wanted to be a part of the night (ticket prices averaged over $5,000). Every year, students camp out in Krzyzewskiville for upwards of a month for the privilege of attending the big rivalry game against UNC, and this year the process was more competitive than usual. And I’m sure it was an event to see. Students research chants and signs before the game, then jump, dance and chant for 2 hours from tip off to final buzzer. You walk out of the game exhausted, with ears ringing. You can’t imagine it; it has to be experienced to be believed. 

Abby (far left), with friends after Duke basketball won the 2015 National Championship in Indianapolis.

And yet, I don’t think Coach K gave me any of my best memories. Others are always impressed when I tell them I was there when Duke beat Wisconsin to win the  2015 National Championship my senior year, or that I’ve been on ESPN multiple times and met too many celebrities to name who came to experience Duke basketball. But did those things really impact me in any meaningful way? Sometimes I even wonder if the annual posts about the Duke-UNC basketball game are as much about reminding everyone that I attended an elite university that is very, very good at basketball, as they are about celebrating school spirit and college memories. While I loved my time at Duke and am proud of my alma mater, would I feel any differently about a college experience at a university ranked lower in academics or sports? Afterall, I wouldn’t trade my experiences in Wyoming for anything. In fact, many of the experiences I’ve had in Wyoming are far more memorable than attending basketball games.

Still, I respect Coach K immensely. Not because he is the most winningest coach in college basketball history, although that does lend credibility to his approach to coaching, but because of the way he coached and the legacy he leaves. His commitment to his family, his values, and his community. I hope in 40 years I can look back on my life and be proud of it, not because of the bragging rights I have assembled, but because of the way I lived and contributed to a community.